Grasp Of Love

I’ve always been fighting and doubting you, calling yourself love. When I finally think you are out of my life, you try again. You tease me with your sweet, irresistible scent. Your spell captures me and makes me fall to my knees with my heart fully exposed as the blood drips to the floor.

At first, I look up at you, in my standard routine of the average none believer. I ask questions about why you are here? And what are your true intentions? However, with every question, your response is solid and real. You prove to me that my doubts are merely past expressions of love misguided; Misunderstood.

You came to me in a way I would have never expected. Beautiful eyes buried with the world and a soul filled with the past of many. Positioning your grasp firmly around my heart, I continue to see as one can’t who can’t help who they are and yet, you still have me locked. When I see you lying next to me with your long mane tickles my arm and your breathing harmonizing with mine, I can’t help think that this is what all my past experiences have prepared me for.

This is a grasp of true love. All opposites combine to formulate this perfect mixture of pain, love and humanity. I stopped trying to fight you. The tension in my body eases, and my body becomes limp as I let your grasp melt into this organ that holds all of who I am. The pounding of my heart becomes steady as you flow into my blood, my bones and my being.

As we come to the same level, I embrace your eyes with mine; changing from one colour to the next and like me, you deny and try not to believe the reality of everything we thought was real. Your eyes filled with tears as my gaze becomes what you see. I smile, and the warmth of your tears drips on my thumb as I wipe them away. You captured my heart; I captured your soul, and together we have completed the formula of one. The true one, the real one, the one we call love.

Up In Smoke

Lighter flicks and I see the smoke rise.
Blinding my eyes of what’s in front of me.

Breathe in and exhale.
Feeling life escape its moment of the once known.
Mm, that scent;  the familiarity of right gone wrong.

Tilt my head back and embrace the moment.
Forcing myself to regain control;
Something that I had a firm hold on.

That smoke.
Clouding my thoughts,
Clouding my heart.
Perhaps tonight begs for a new start?

Lift my hand in hopes for another release.
Fingers close to my mouth;
That taste, as pure as it can get.
I love it even in its raw form.

Hand down, eyes closed… and I wait.
It comes to my head and allows me to fall
In front of an open crowd;
Vulnerable in its quiet form.

The aftermath of its smell lingers…
On my body, my lips….my soul
With a mixture of poison with a hint of regret,
My hopes fall to the side of the smoke.

Covered in all of its dark forms.
The ashtray filled with yesterday’s past,
While the smoke lingers, guiding my path.

Busy

Keeping myself extra busy these days…
distracted by the patterns of life to keep thoughts from creeping in
no choice was giving so here I stand…or sit
working the brain hard
so now the heart only needs to do the required task
recharging its other abilities and staying on standby
by the time I reach home, sleep is due
subconscious separation of thoughts
which, for the most part, I gladly and sadly forget when I rise
no need for late night walks
because my mental ambition has replaced its task
keeping myself extra busy these days
real busy